I Cannot Help Myself When it Comes to Plastic

Last night, my love held up a large sealed bag with paper in it, slightly nibbled and there I went, backed into the male species recliner and looking down and around for my escape. I had nowhere to go.  Do you think she knows it was me?

Ranger is Moving in on My Girl

I do not understand what is happening. Ranger doesn’t just dislike her, he HATES her! He growls at her when she reaches him, sometimes when she is being nice to him after he has extended the invite. He has started greeting her with me at the top of the stairs when she comes home. With all of that, I was FINE. I can even allow him to play with her, jumping up several times in a row to “give her 10.” Then all of a sudden he is pressed up against her when she sits down and kicks her feet up. What is happening? I am so confused! Look at her taking this picture and him pretending to like it! It’s a lie and she doesn’t seem to know it!

I have to find a way to let her know who really loves her! Hmm. Watch this!

Homemade Piñata

The other day, I ate a large round balloon…or so I thought. It was coated in newspaper, flour and water and I’d eaten half the giant piñata before realizing I didn’t feel so well. I went back through the game room, up the stairs, through the living room and to the exit pacing frantically in hopes of an escape to release this toxic poison inside of me and no one came. Yet just the same, the emergency evacuation happened…all over the hard floors. When it was discovered by the male species we were immediately released, Ranger and I, to finish what we (or I) had started. The male semi-hairless species stayed behind to remove the slippery booby trap he stepped in letting us out in the dark, but had no idea which of us had done it so there were no punishments.

It was not until when the love of my life returned the next day from her trip that she walked over to the half eaten piñata and held it into the air. Immediately, I tucked my tail, looked away, down, sideways anxiously looking for an escape. Ah, the spare dog bed in the game room! Then, Ranger got all her petting, and I was BUSTED! Why do I always have to tell on myself?

The Solar Cover

Today, my sweet master was home scrambling around and shoving things into a suitcase and before she left she let me outside. She was so excited to see how much I enjoyed the plastic they left for me folded and draped neatly over the fence! I think she called it a solar cover, but as she approached me with the tiny tattered piece I had torn off in the process of snatching it from the fence and mangling it all over the yard she did not seem pleased. I did what any intelligent male would do. I tucked my tail and ran like hell bobbing a weaving while simultaneously looking back, careful not to take my eyes off of her for long. She dragged my new toy onto the pool deck and locked it in. I don’t think she wants me to play with it while she is away with the suitcase.

I Played in Water and Waited Patient TWICE!

Yesterday, Lorene took me with her for the day. First, she went by the UPS Store and left me in the car with the AC running. I panicked a little at first, but I could tell she was on a mission so I sat up in the passenger seat and watched all the people in the parking lot until she appeared like magic at the door. She was really proud at me.

Then, she took me to meet her dad. I went inside and followed her everywhere, even to see Papa Bear! We went in the yard so I could go potty, but I did not have to go. We went down the road and met five kids. All but one pet me, but the other one had allergies and could not get too close. One kid wanted to keep me, but my favorite person in the world did not give me away. When we got back to Papa Bear's some visitors dropped by to check on him. He had surgery and a plastic thingy around his neck so he could move real stiff-like. They petted me too, and Lorene made them smell me because I don't stink or smell like dog. It makes me wonder if maybe I am not really a dog, because she says I don't smell like one at all. I have only had one bath in 5 months and that did not make me smell like a dog either.

When my family arrived we all loaded up in Lorene's car and went to hike the trails near her job. It was later so there was not much daylight left. I kept walking and did not stop so much like I used to. I did not touch any people, although I was tempted every time someone passed to get close in case they wanted to touch me. I like to be touched. Then, we walked down a hill, into some sand and rocks and I walked right up to the edge of the water and put two paws in and drank it up. In the background, I could hear Lorene whispering for everyone to watch and before I knew it I was two thirds of the way across the creek. I took off running to get back, but after that hike, I was so thirsty and the water felt so good that I kept walking in the water again and again. Everyone was so proud at me.

Then, they went to dinner and they left me in the car in the dark with the windows down. I sat up in the back seat and watched the people and cars, then I laid down. Every time someone came out of Jolly Joe's in Mableton, I would sit up and see if it was them and a few minutes later would lay down again. Finally, they appeared opening all the doors real quick and hopping in! They were so proud and brought me celery. They were so proud of me. I like my family. They are awesome!

She says I Have the BEST Demeanor!

Lorene says I have the best demeanor! I have no idea what that means, but I'm number one! I'm number one! Your number…I'm number one!

She told the lady at Rescue Me GA that she pulls my tail, tugs my ears, takes my food, pulls my mouth, grabs my paws, and I don't even care. That is SO TRUE. I was there! She said she would love to take me to work with children or elderly. Not sure what an elderly is, but she said I have the perfect personality for it!

She also feeds me with Ranger, Mr. Don't-Touch-or-Get-Near-My-Bowl, and I leave him alone although if I get downstairs first I have been known to stake dibs on his bowl. I take his toys, bed, his bone and anything else he has and Ranger just looks at them like, "dude, he took my bed."You know what they do? Nothing. They let me take it! Unfortunately though I am held in captivity when the furless ones are gone and RANGER GETS TO GO FREE! It is kind of nice though, Ranger is right at the cage every time they open the door to greet me, play and take a trip outside. I heard Lorene say she is not sure if I am "a natural leader or a sweet bully," and that Ranger, the alpha, is still "in charge" enough that he is comfortable and that we are BFs. Well, he is definitely my BF, but right behind my Lorene. She calls me Sweet Scout, and I love her!

I am a Chronic Licker

May 19th, I was caught licking the back of Lorene's bluejeans while she was cooking and she told the rescue lady about it! I am a little embarrassed, but I LOVE to lick. It's the best thing EVER! When someone first reaches out to pet me my tongue goes wildly out of my mouth in every direction trying to make contact first. Licking is my favorite thing! I also love chewing and licking hair. It is so much better than just smelling it!