I Cannot Help Myself When it Comes to Plastic

Last night, my love held up a large sealed bag with paper in it, slightly nibbled and there I went, backed into the male species recliner and looking down and around for my escape. I had nowhere to go.  Do you think she knows it was me?

Ranger is Moving in on My Girl

I do not understand what is happening. Ranger doesn’t just dislike her, he HATES her! He growls at her when she reaches him, sometimes when she is being nice to him after he has extended the invite. He has started greeting her with me at the top of the stairs when she comes home. With all of that, I was FINE. I can even allow him to play with her, jumping up several times in a row to “give her 10.” Then all of a sudden he is pressed up against her when she sits down and kicks her feet up. What is happening? I am so confused! Look at her taking this picture and him pretending to like it! It’s a lie and she doesn’t seem to know it!

I have to find a way to let her know who really loves her! Hmm. Watch this!

Homemade Piñata

The other day, I ate a large round balloon…or so I thought. It was coated in newspaper, flour and water and I’d eaten half the giant piñata before realizing I didn’t feel so well. I went back through the game room, up the stairs, through the living room and to the exit pacing frantically in hopes of an escape to release this toxic poison inside of me and no one came. Yet just the same, the emergency evacuation happened…all over the hard floors. When it was discovered by the male species we were immediately released, Ranger and I, to finish what we (or I) had started. The male semi-hairless species stayed behind to remove the slippery booby trap he stepped in letting us out in the dark, but had no idea which of us had done it so there were no punishments.

It was not until when the love of my life returned the next day from her trip that she walked over to the half eaten piñata and held it into the air. Immediately, I tucked my tail, looked away, down, sideways anxiously looking for an escape. Ah, the spare dog bed in the game room! Then, Ranger got all her petting, and I was BUSTED! Why do I always have to tell on myself?

The Solar Cover

Today, my sweet master was home scrambling around and shoving things into a suitcase and before she left she let me outside. She was so excited to see how much I enjoyed the plastic they left for me folded and draped neatly over the fence! I think she called it a solar cover, but as she approached me with the tiny tattered piece I had torn off in the process of snatching it from the fence and mangling it all over the yard she did not seem pleased. I did what any intelligent male would do. I tucked my tail and ran like hell bobbing a weaving while simultaneously looking back, careful not to take my eyes off of her for long. She dragged my new toy onto the pool deck and locked it in. I don’t think she wants me to play with it while she is away with the suitcase.